When I'm Wiser and I'm Older
by andromeda90
Summary: The sky is such a beautiful blue, Magnus had never seen it be so vibrant. He doesn't remember air being this crisp, nor can he recall his silk sheets ever feeling this soft. Everything is vibrating with life and Magnus….is at peace. His whole life, he had been waiting for this...for him. Everything has been worth it. Malec. Part 4 of SoulmateAU.


**Part 4 of the Soulmate AU Series**

**Pairing:** Malec, Jimon, Clace, Isabelle and Clary friendship

**Warnings**: canonical character death

**Notes:** Magnus part came easier, because the other parts were written so this was just adding in certain Malec scenes. Honestly, there are so many scenes I could put in for Magnus and Alec, but I kept to scenes that could fit in with the POV from the other characters. But there are snippets I want to write that can flesh things out more.

I also wrote this because Magnus is the only one to bring a more coherent and explanatory view of the soulmates. It isn't very extensive but enough to hopefully to bridge information from the previous installments. Unless you haven't read the others which is fine. At least now you know about this soulmate AU though Magnus.

I hope you enjoy this and that I did him justice. He is an amazing character and was hesitant on what aspects to emphasize and focus on. Especially since his was more of a summary feel to come to a sort of close and to balance the other pieces with his POV.

Title taken from Avicii's, Wake Me Up  
I don't own anything.

* * *

**When I'm Wiser and I'm Older**

* * *

He remembers the past, of course he does. He's learned a lot. He has met many people, has loved people.

Of course he has loved, nothing that touched his soul, but he loved them nonetheless.

He remembers heartbreak, remembers the darkness, the pain.

But in all honesty, none of that matters to him anymore. Not anymore.

It stops being important on that fateful day, when he has a dream where the sky was such a beautiful blue color. Magnus had never seen a blue so beautiful.

He wakes up on that day, yearning for blue.

He berates himself, because he knows blue, and yet…..disappointment hits him when the sky outside is the same dull color.

Everything is….better. He doesn't know how or why, but everything is better. There is change in the air Magnus isn't sure he likes it. He glances at his wardrobe, looks out at the window, perhaps he needs a break.

…

Sometimes he has nightmares, but lately he only dreams of blue.

Sometimes his dreams are full of laughter, and there is a voice, soft, peaceful. Magnus doesn't know why but he looks forward to those dreams.

He still has nightmares, he still remembers her, him, his parents, the past, the pain, all of his loses.

But….even the softest shade of blue and that tinkling laugh makes Magnus feel comforted.

Magnus had been sure he didn't know comfort…..not for a long while…..

He wraps himself around the blue, around the laughter, and his magic grows stronger. Stronger than it had ever been before. And under his skin he feels certain tingling, sometimes he feels like someone is writing on his skin, but there is nothing there.

He takes time to get coffee in Paris, or walk along the coast of Italy.

On those nights, he revisits those places in his dreams and soon, the blue color forms into eyes, that peer out at him. The laughter remains, tinkling across his dreams and Magnus wants to reach out, but there is nothing there.

But the stronger his magic gets, he finds himself remembering. Those blue eyes that fill him with warmth change, he knows the difference….he knows the difference too well and he remembers Camille's screams. He remembers her fingers running over his arm, through his hair, her whispers in his ear.

He remembers the unspoken and secret kiss, the desperate need for revenge, for retaliation, and those blue eyes look at him, confused, trusting.

Different blue eyes, but blue eyes nonetheless.

And it obvious that those magnificent eyes that haunt him belong to a Shadowhunter.

He yearns for those eyes but at the same time, he pushes them away.

He doesn't know what is happening because never has he felt this before. And it is funny because he knows about soulmates, he knows.

He knows that Mundanes are born with their soulmate's name written upon their skin. The Nephilims get their mate's name after they are sixteen. The Downworlders have soulmates too, the name appears with a symbol, tattooed somewhere on their back. Magnus figures that the Heavens decided that being unable to see the name right away was punishment enough….they still get soulmates, so what is there to complain?

Still.

He doesn't realize it until it's too late.

He feels the power, how it surges and how lucky that he is home alone on that night. There is energy that fills his whole body, like a fire. Magnus hates the fire, hates it, but it engulfs him, the power is nothing he has ever felt before.

His whole body is sparking and he reacts.

Magnus has done things he regrets in life, hundreds of years, a lot of years to not do things you regret. But on this day, what he does takes the cake.

It is instinctual, he uses the energy, the magic under his skin and builds a wall. There is too much, everything is too much and for a second, he is terrified. He doesn't think. He cuts himself off the energy, of the pull.

And he wakes up with a beautiful tattoo on his shoulder, a name under it, and a feeling of completely loneliness that he cannot get rid of. There is nothing, no energy under his skin, no sense of peace, there are no more dreams.

There is only emptiness.

He cries, something he hasn't done in years, but he does it because he made a mistake. He wants those blue eyes back, wants the laughter, wants the energy and the feeling of being complete.

How could he not have known? He is the High Warlock?

And for a second he is elated, because after more than 700 years Magnus finally has a soulmate. After years of loneliness he has a name, someone out there was born for Magnus…..and it is beautiful.

Except Magnus is now alone, because he didn't realize it sooner, because he was afraid, no, he is still afraid. He is terrified because this...this is forever...this is everything or nothing. He hasn't had that...he's never had that...now he does.

He stares at the mark on his shoulder blade, knowing the name, memorizing it. How easy it would be to go out there, to find him, to bring his soulmate to him. But Magnus is still afraid, still hesitant, because he has a soulmate.

Magnus Bane.

A warlock, a child with demon blood, has a soulmate.

A boy with bright blue eyes and a heart of gold, with the blood of an angel running through his veins. Magnus laughs and cries, because of course, his soulmate would.

Chairman Meow only meows.

Magnus throws parties, always trying to outdo himself. He tries to forget, tries to ignore the emptiness. But he can't.

He can't the name out of his head and he can't stop searching for those bright blue eyes.

It had to be a Lightwood.

Should have figured as much.

And then, those blue eyes walk into one of his parties and that is it. He has to reach out, has to take the boy into his arms, ask for forgiveness, he would do anything….because those blue eyes don't shine the way they used to. They are dull, still beautiful, but dull, and he is withdrawn and Magnus doesn't like that….because the boy before him is perfect.

His magic hums and he feels his magic building up and he is so close….

But Alec runs and Magnus lets him.

Cat eyes watch as Alec runs away, in panic and Magnus feels himself breaking.

He wonders if it everything is over, if it is too late?

….

He gets the call.

Alec is hurt.

Magnus doesn't think twice.

He pushes his magic into Alec's body, destroying the poison, intertwining their hands as he pleads for Alec to hang on.

_Don't leave me_.

But Alec doesn't, he opens up for Magnus and it is amazing.

He feels their bond opening, changing, becoming stronger, and his magic intensifies, just like on that day.

Except, this time, Magnus doesn't let go, he embraces it, embraces Alec, lets himself fall into the bond with everything he has.

….

He doesn't expect it to be easy, he knows that.

But Alec shows up at his apartment and all Magnus wants to do is hug him, pull him close, kiss him and never let go.

_Thank you for saving my life._

_I couldn't let you die._

Magnus notices the flinch and he quickly adds.

_I couldn't lose you again. _

_But why?_

Magnus knows what he is asking, the same thing he would ask. He doesn't know what to say, how to say it.

_You must understand, Alexander, that I had never felt anything like I did on that day_…

Their bond is humming peacfully between them. It isn't enough, he knows that...but he doesn't know how to express that Alec made him feel too much….

_I panicked._

_I was afraid._

_It hurt._

_It hurt me too._

He doesn't know who moves first, but he is wrapping his arms around Alec and it doesn't matter. Nothing matters with Alec in his arms. Nothing.

…..

Isabelle doesn't necessarily approve and he understands why. He wouldn't be too happy with the man who hurt someone close to him.

But he won't back down and he won't let Alec go, not now, when Alec is his. There is no letting go.

It makes Magnus feel better that Alec doesn't plan on letting him go either, even if the ugly bracelet still covers the rune on his wrist. Magnus doesn't say anything, neither does Isabelle, but Magnus likes to think she'll warm up to him soon enough. Besides, there is an emptiness in her eyes that gets to Magnus, because she is Alec's sister which meant in a way she is his sister too. Strange thought. Magnus decides to ignore it for now. Too soon.

Besides.

He doesn't think of anyone else when Alec is with him, their hands clasped, mouths pressed together, sharing one breath.

Of course, it doesn't last because Alec is a Shadowhunter and he has to go on hunts and his parabatai needs him.

Magnus knows they have a bond, a parabatai bond, and he doesn't like sharing….but Alec always kisses him and it melts his annoyance away, for a little while.

Jace doesn't know that Magnus is Alec's soulmate. Not yet.

_Jace is going through a lot right now_.

And then Jace is staying with him and Magnus is sorry, but not really, when Jace notices the tattoo on Magnus' back. He didn't do it on purpose, but to say that he regrets it would be lying.

Jace is furious and Alec is just as furious at Jace. Magnus is pretty sure some of that fury is coming from himself.

Magnus is looking smug behind Alec, but he feels the disapproval through their bond so Magnus drops the smugness….from his face. Alec could still feel it in the bond, probably.

Jace storms into his, for the moment, room and Alec slumps, because he wants Jace to be happy for them.

They don't have a lot of time to talk and honestly, Magnus is kind of curious about Solomon. The mundane. Alec notices it too, and Magnus wonders, not for the first time, why that is, how is Alec intuitive about bonds? The bonds have an energy to them, an energy he can sense at times, because of his magic, it gives a slight hum in the air…..he figures it is something he has given Alec through the bond. He wonders what else has given Alec, he sends his mate a wink, causing the other to flush.

Jace isn't too happy when it is decided that Alec would stay behind so Jace could go to the Seelie Court. But it is the only way and Magnus bids them all a farewell, glad to have Alec to himself.

Not that their alone time lasts for too long because Jace has to come back, but the news that Sergio had turned into a vampire, well that was definitely news. The more interesting news is the way that Jace looks, haunted, lost, like he is missing something, and Magnus knows that look.

Of course he knows that look.

Huh. He doesn't say anything.

Not yet.

Besides, Jace is still more likely to punch him in the face for being with his parabatai.

At least now Magnus has something to puzzle out.

Figures that the Lightwoods would be complicated.

….

He finds himself in a truck, in the middle of the ocean, not something he would normally do.

But he can't say no, so he weathers it out.

He didn't realize how hard it was, with the bond, to feel Alec, the pain, the adrenaline. He wonders what Alec can feel from his side. He feels the panic and he doesn't know if it is Alec's or his own, all he knows that he needs to get to Alec.

Blue eyes open and Magnus feels relieved. He is beyond exhausted but Alec is fine and that is all that matters.

Alec's eyes are wide, he mutters about getting back to the boat and Magnus is too tired to say anything, really. He knows better, Alec comes with a family.

Alec must feel it through the bond, because he stops and just looks at him.

Suddenly he is offering his hand to Magnus, and all he can do is stare at it.

_I know you can take some of my strength. Take it. It's yours. _

….

He doesn't like the idea of hosting meetings in his apartment. But, where else would they have them?

He pulls Alec close to his chest, because if he is going to deal with the others, he is going to have Alec in his arms the whole time. The whole time. He is happy to know that Alec is letting him, even if he is bright red.

Isabelle doesn't say anything, eyebrows furrowed, as if trying to figure something out. Clary, is rubbing her chest, and Magnus wonders….because he's heard of something.

He hadn't seen too many examples of them, to be honest, he didn't go around snooping into things like bonds.

When Simon and Jace walk into the apartment, hand in hand, well, Magnus is not surprised, neither is Alec…..

Isabelle is the most surprised….Clary…..seems to have seen it coming, in a way.

No one says anything as Jace moves to sit on one side of Clary and Simon sits on the other.

It is Isabelle that breaks the silence and Magnus, well, he can't help himself.

_Their bond is different. They share pieces of one soul. They are not two puzzle pieces but one broken into two. You don't see that too often. _

Clary gives him a weary smile and Simon doesn't look at anyone, keeping his eyes focused on his hands.

Jace is surprisingly, quiet.

Magnus knows he shouldn't be as amused and entertained as he is. But Alec doesn't say anything.

…..

He watches Alec disappear into the portal and he sighs. There is nothing he can do when Clary rushes over, hurt clear on her face.

He wonders what she is feeling, how does it feel to have part of your soul in someone else? Being two people? It must be strange. He doesn't have enough time to think about it before she is rushing into danger, Lucian right behind her.

Magnus doesn't relax, he can't, not with Alec far away….

He should have figured out they were after the White Book. He blocks his pain from Alec, knowing he doesn't need that right now.

But he is not the only one who loses someone that day.

He feels the sudden wave of grief and pain, it makes him stumble. It is raw and he wants to sooth it, but he doesn't know how. He wants to make it ok, but he knows he can't and it angers him, he wants to find this Jonathan and make him pay.

Magnus finds Alec later, face tear stricken, and he just hugs him. He wraps his arms around Alec and mourns his own loss. They mourn together.

At least, they are together.

….

He knows they haven't fully healed, that they still mourn over their loss, but they have things to do. He tries looking for Jonathan, but he doesn't find anything. And let me tell you, he tries with everything he's got.

There is talk of war and it is funny, before he would have high tailed out of everything...this time, he listens to everyone with a grim smile.

He is there for Alec, till the end. He just wishes he could go to him, one last time. Surprisingly, it is Alec that comes to him.

He sees hurt flash over Alec's face when he senses Magnus' surprise through the bond. But could Alec blame him? When Alec had been keeping his distance all this time? Magnus understood and the love he feels through the bond is a nice, constant reminder, but it isn't the same as holding Alec close. Just holding his hand would be nice.

_Be my partner_.

The bond hums between them, strong and Magnus offers his hand up. He is surprised but he wouldn't say not to his Nephilim.

The things he would do for his blue eyed boy. It is all worth it when those lips meet his.

They'll survive.

They haven't lived long enough together for this to be their end.

And if it is, at least they found each other in the end.

…..

Magnus sighs as he pulls Alec close, smiling into Alec's neck.

Everyone is scattered around.

It is funny, he thinks, seeing everyone come together for the celebration. Not something he thought he would see.

Jace has his arm over Simon's shoulders, much to his dismay, while Clary gossips with Isabelle and Aline.

They survived, they are alive.

Life is good.

Magnus looks at Alec, who shifts around, a grin on his lips.

When their lips meet, Magnus has to correct himself.

Life is great.

* * *

**The End.**

* * *

I like Magnus, I hope I did him justice.

I don't think I'll write a Clary anytime soon, she is the hardest for me to write and think about. I have an idea but not enough to write something extensive like these other parts. But I will probably have snippets written up with her to flesh her and all the relationships more.

I hope you enjoyed this and that this Soulmate AU made some sense, not a lot, perhaps, because I did not have an extensive summary and explanation, only hints here and there, very superficial. I know. Still, hope you got enough to like it.

Not sure if I'll write something on scenes about the events that happen after City of Glass. If I do, it'll probably be snippets and nothing too long. Not sure. Either way, I hope to continue writing more for this AU. But who knows!

Thank you for reading.


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